Sobriety First

It is better to do one thing supremely well than many things poorly. ~ Tradition 5  

I was reminded of our Fifth Tradition’s central theme several years ago in a conversation with an old timer named Jack.  I knew Jack casually, and we rarely spoke, other than the usual greeting.  But when we did, I usually learned something.  

We’d just attended a meeting and were out in the parking lot having a chat. Presently, another guy from the group walked over and imposed himself on our conversation… (boundaries be damned).  

Without so much as an “excuse me,” or “I beg your pardon,” he hijacked the conversation and launched into a completely unbalanced Ralph Kramden rant… (about God knows what). After he talked himself out, depleted his impressive repertoire of curse words, and ran out of steam, he stopped talking. And as abruptly as he showed up, turned and stalked off.   

I looked at his retreating figure, “Not that I’m being overly judgmental or taking anyone’s inventory, but someone needs to throw a net over that guy.” Jack put it into proper perspective, “Alcoholics Anonymous is about helping alcoholics to stop drinking. If he’s not drinking, AA did its job. If someone happens to be batshit crazy, that’s the way it goes.” 

Jack reminded me that nothing happens until physical sobriety is achieved….and then if you keep my eye on the ball, there is a natural progression of events.  At least that’s how it worked for me:   

– I’d been beaten and bludgeoned into a state of reasonableness; 

– I showed up, listened to the message, decided this didn’t suck and stuck around; 

– I kept coming back, followed the suggestions, kept my eye on the ball, and became a part of AA.  

After a while, I got myself a sponsor.   It should be noted that I took my time and was very selective (there are a lot of pretenders out there). He took me  through the steps.   

What I didn’t realize at the time was this was only going to be my first time in navigating the steps.  It also didn’t occur to me that I’d be sponsoring guys and doing the same thing with them. Meanwhile, I got active in meetings and eventually became a sponsor.    

I didn’t sponsor my first guy until I had four years (probably because I didn’t have anything that anyone wanted until then). 

And while I wasn’t paying attention, The Promises all came true…and continue to work in my life…if I keep my eye on the ball.  

                                                    THIS IS IMPORTANT:  

At what was undoubtedly the lowest point of my life, I sought outside help and got myself some counseling.  It saved my life and changed how I looked at things.   

Anytime I heard of someone suffering from depression, I’d think to myself, “What’s the big deal? Why don’t you just man up and walk it off?” Yeah, well, God has a sense of humor…   

After going through depression myself, I no longer have such a cavalier attitude. 

There is no shame in getting outside help.    

I found a therapist who specialized in addiction, because I knew enough not to discuss certain things in open meetings.  That stuff is private and personal and needs to be reserved for a licensed therapist who knows what he’s doing.   

All the while I kept my eye on the ball and never stopped going to meetings.  AA is, has been, and always shall be my bedrock.   

Everything that’s good in my life is a direct result of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous working in it. 

I tried to stop drinking (and recreational drugging) on my own and just couldn’t hack it. My personal record was thirty thoroughly unhappy, desperately miserable days of white knuckling it.  What I failed miserably at on my own, I succeeded at in a big way with Alcoholics Anonymous.  

Be Advised: Just because I made it to the rooms and stayed sober everything is not peaches and cream. There have been many, many days when the most outstanding and remarkable thing I managed to accomplish was to simply not pick up a drink.   

That may sound kind of lame to the average Joe on the street, for someone who’s life had been utterly hijacked by addiction, it’s kind of a big deal.  

Even though I’ve been doing this for quite a while, I don’t take anything for granted. I need to show up, do the deal, and keep my eye on the ball. 

                                                     HERE’S THE TAKEAWAY:  

 In looking back on my life, there are certain times that I consider the direst and most dangerous: 

• It wasn’t when I was working on an aircraft carrier flight deck;   

• It wasn’t when I was taking skydiving lessons, or rock climbing or bungee jumping;  

• And it wasn’t when I was on the U.S. Acapulco Cliff Diving Team… 

Sorry to disappoint you, but I never did any of that stuff.  Not even close.  My life just isn’t that sexy.   

I get excited when I nail it at self-checkout. 

No, the most dangerous times in my life were (for whatever reason) I ceased going to meetings. 

A new job…the quest for the almighty buck…who cares? It’s insidious, and it happens one day at a time.  I need to be around AA and be with my people.   

And no matter what happens, I must keep my eye on the ball.