My old sponsor, Ross Porter used to say, “I’m powerless over people, places, things and situations.”
I’d always thought I could control those things, but that kind of control is an illusion.
The only meaningful and substantial thing I can really control is my attitude.
It’s all about attitude.
When faced with adversity, my knee jerk reaction was to hyperventilate and freak out.
I’ve sabotaged so many countless opportunities because of a rotten attitude.
I was always in a big hurry, because wherever I was, I wanted to be somewhere else.
Don’t ask me where, I just knew I didn’t want to be where I was.
Looking back in hindsight, I can clearly see that my worst problems were always of my own making. And those problems came from a lousy attitude. Namely anger, impatience and intolerance.
News Flash: I’m not perfect.
What really changed everything for me was a deep and abiding faith in a higher power (that I choose to call God) and the assurance that if I do the right thing, the right thing will happen.
Just having that in the quiver of my life calmed me down and changed everything (No, it wasn’t because I switched to decaf).
I’m convinced the Grace of God entered my life on the evening of my first AA meeting.
All during my teen years, I’d been waiting in eager anticipation of the day I could drink legally. As I approached 18, the drinking age went to 21. It was a damn conspiracy.
Anyway,
I’d hit rock bottom, conceded defeat, and wound up at my first meeting at 24.
Evidently, I was only going to get three years of legal drinking in this life.
On the way to that meeting, I knew in my heart of hearts that the jig was up.
Instead of feeling angry and cheated, I was alive with curiosity as to what the proceedings
would bring. In the back of my mind it occurred to me that it was odd I wasn’t pissed off and put out.
I have no doubt my success in AA directly corresponds with my attitude.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I resolved to put the toys away and do what needed to be done.
Nowadays,
I don’t even recognize myself. Life is so much simpler and fun. I just show up and do my best….and I pay attention. Paying attention is underrated.
Actually, attitude isn’t everything…attitude is the only thing.