– Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless. ~ Thomas A. Edison
Progress not perfection is the hint that a 12 step program is a journey of discovery.
When I first joined Alcoholics Anonymous, I ignored the whole ’90 & 90′ thing; You know,
“Try doing ninety meetings in ninety days, and if you don’t like it, your misery will be cheerfully refunded.”
I knew to my core that this was my last chance. This was it. This was the last house on the left…
I was at the end, and there was no place else to go.
There was no finger pointing, and no one else to blame. All the denial and defiance had been beaten and bludgeoned out of me, and if I was to be in this thing, it had to be all the way.
In the meantime, I had to unlearn everything I took for granted and lived by.
Progress not perfection can be a tall order for someone who suffers from self-imposed perfectionism.That’s my pathology, thank you very much.
The older I get, the more apparent it becomes.
My brand of insanity doesn’t make me a dangerous sociopath.
I’m not some Whackjob rollerskating down main street wearing polka dot boxer shorts and a pinwheel hat. Carrying an Uzi, laughing maniacally and squeezing off short bursts at anything that moves. Nah, I lack the ambition for that.
My particular insanity just makes me a pain in the ass.
. . .You’re welcome.
Letting go of my own perfectionism is one thing, but abandoning unrealistic expectations I impose on other people is a different sport altogether.
Everything doesn’t always have to be cataloged in a perfectly chronological or alphabetical order. I don’t always have to win first place in whatever I do, and everything doesn’t always have to be neat, clean and optimal.
HERE’S THE TAKEAWAY:
Just because the twelve steps are breathtaking in their beauty and sheer simplicity, don’t be fooled; they’re by no means easy.
Our program isn’t a temporary hobby or a whimsical diversion, it’s a lifelong discipline.
I’ll stack it up against anything else that’s out there.
I had a sponsor who told me, “Work the steps long enough, one day you’ll wake up and find you’re living them.”
I love meetings that feature those grass roots topics I need to constantly be exposed to. You know:
Acceptance, Gratitude, Willingness, Humility…the basic stuff that’s plastered all over our literature. They’re there for a reason.
If something doesn’t work out the way I’d planned, That’s okay. I didn’t fail. I was given the opportunity to learn an important lesson.
The only failure is not to try.