- Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked.~ Mark Twain
There are a lot of different meeting formats, which is good news for the chronic malcontent.
Just to name a few, there are step meetings, Big Book meetings, open discussion meetings,and open speaker meetings
…a wrench to fit every nut.
Since open discussion meetings seem to be the most common, I go to those the most.
Open speaker meetings seem to be few and far between. Because of this, they tend to be pretty well attended.
I love a packed meeting; the energy and electricity of the crowd. To me, there’s nothing more depressing than an empty meeting.
Either way, I’ve always enjoyed open speaker meetings.
To the uninitiated, the ‘open speaker’ meeting features one speaker who gives their full spiel:
One ‘Headliner’ speaker who takes the full hour…kind of like your Rock Star alchy.
Sometimes, a team of speakers will visit and put on the meeting.
This is called a ‘Speaking Commitment’.
I’ve done both many, many times.
Speaking commitments are a good time, and a special opportunity.
There’s a whole subculture and science to it:
Each group has a Bookie that deals with the other bookies, and schedules commitments…
It’s a common practice in New England (where I spent my first twelve years).
For some unfathomable reason, the practice hasn’t migrated down here to Florida.
Back in the day, my home group was, The Hour of Power.
We had some very ambitious Bookies, and as a result we were always in demand for speaking engagements.
We’d think nothing of packing into a couple cars, and driving a couple hours.
I’d gladly sacrifice an evening of goofing off and vegging out in front of the TV.
What the hell. It was a night out, a change of scenery, and a chance to hang with friends.
-There’s a meeting on the ride to the commitment.
-Then there’s the meeting itself.
-On the way home we’d stop for dinner.
-And of course, there was the meeting on the ride home.
It was always a safe place to be: no one was drinking.
We put on meetings at detoxes, hospitals, prisons, schools, churches…you name it.
After a while, you develop your own story, your own style, and your own brand of street cred.
Speaking Commitments give you the opportunity to really get to know someone you may have just had a nodding acquaintance with, and discover someone you genuinely like and trust.
This is Alcoholics Anonymous at its brilliant best:
A frightened, angry, lonely newcomer shows up. Self-conscious, introverted and awkward.
A dumpster fire of a human being who spent years of hiding in plain sight, and couldn’t string two coherent sentences together.
After some encouragement, and for the hell of it, he decides to come along on a commitment.
He loosens up and discovers that he’s actually having fun.
In time he’s shocked to find that not only can he get up in front of a group of strangers and talk about stuff he’d carefully kept hidden for so long, he’s actually good at it.
Interestingly enough, the worst, most humiliating and shameful experiences end up yielding the best material:
Totally insane, asinine stuff that people love hearing, and really relate to. Lots of laughter.
Everything changes when people are laughing with you, and not at you.
To boldly get up in front of a huge crowd, give ’em The Full Monty and let it all hang out.
No hiding.
No fear.
No shame.
No regrets.
…No kidding.
Our newcomer emerges from the cocoon as a valued and esteemed member of the group.
Watching guys like that will change your life forever.
Sorry to break it to you: There are no shortcuts.
The only way to become a good speaker is to get off your ass and do it.
The only way to get comfortable in front of a crowd is to do it. A lot.
Forget Toastmasters International.
I’ve done my time in the trenches of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I consider myself truly blessed to have experienced AA in New England, and Florida.
Sure, there are subtle differences that I didn’t exactly embrace at first, but when you get down to the guts of it, it’s still the same.
Rather than be pissed off and put out, I enjoy the opportunity of meeting new people, and seeing how they do it.
Plus, they haven’t heard my stuff yet.
I’m old news to my home group. But when I go some place new, suddenly I’m a big cheese.
Either way, I’m always at my best when I step out of my comfort zone. As soon as this old dog refuses to learn new tricks, I may as well pack it in.
HERE'S THE TAKEAWAY:
We all have an unsuspected reserve of strength inside that emerges when life puts us to the test.
I’m fascinated by people, and love hearing about their journey.
I’m interested in what motivates people, what inspires them, and the crucible of pain and loss that tempered them into who they are today.
It took some time, but I’ve finally been able to put my finger on the allure:
Understanding others helps me to understand myself.