The home group is the backbone of A.A.
If you don’t have a home group, you’re shortchanging yourself and missing out in a big way.
I could never have gotten sober on my own.
For me, Alcoholics Anonymous has always been about the people.
And no doubt about it: you share a special bond with your home group members.
Like it or hate it, for better or for worse, they’re your family.
No one’s perfect, and I’ve made my fair share of mistakes. One thing I didn’t mess up on, is that I’ve always had a home group.
I can think of coworkers I’d known for years who didn’t know me as well as a home group member I’d only known a few months.
There’s an important consistency in seeing the same people week in and week out.
They are there for you, and you are there for them.
Furthermore, they know what you’re about: your fears, weaknesses and shortcomings.
We celebrate our victories, and gather around our wounded.
If I start to regress by indulging in old, destructive behaviors, they’ll call me on the carpet for it.
Home groups are one of those rare win/win situations in life:
You get better by being with them, and the group benefits by having you as a part of it.
It’s no coincidence that all of my sponsors have been my home group members.
During one meeting my mind started to wander. I looked around the room and did a mental tally. There were no less than six guys in there I’d taken through the steps.
In time, that’ll happen to you, too.
I love the first two paragraphs of chapter 7, ‘Working With Others’ in the Big Book:
“Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill.
Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.”
Finding your home group is easy:
If it’s nearby, has a good vibe, and the time slot’s a fit: you’ve found it.
If, for whatever reason, a meeting consistently annoys you, move on;
don’t settle for something that’ll give you an ulcer.
You don’t need to sign anything and have it notarized, take a blood test, submit to a credit check, or memorize lengthy passages from our literature.
If you want in, you’re in.
It’s not a country club.
Years ago, a newcomer approached me after our meeting and asked to join the group. It was to be her very first home group.
As usual, I took down her name, phone number and DOS (Date of Sobriety) and proclaimed her a member.
I then added the caveat that she really didn’t belong to anything unless she bothered to show up and participate. She assured me she would.
In time, she proved to be as good as her word, and became an important part of our group. In time, her brother joined us, too.
Here’s The Takeaway:
When we tell you, ‘keep coming back’, it’s not a conspiracy to get your buck in the basket.
We’ve been there.
We understand the loneliness, pain, and embarrassment you’re going through.
It’s very powerful about being among people who actually get it.
Even though you may not see it for yourself, we recognize your vast, untapped potential. Everyone has value, and everyone brings something to the table.
But nothing happens until you show up.
